One Day In Bangkok

Welcome Back!

Moving on from a city as wonderful and comfortable as Tokyo was kind of sad. Spending as little time as we are in all these places, it makes you realize that you could spend so much more time in all of them. I'd love to go experience Kyoto, and Osaka, and so much more of Tokyo, than we could in 6 days. I suppose travelling just gives you tastes of things; just more to see. So, although I was happy to go on with our trip, Japan/Tokyo now has the distinction of a place to make a point to return to in the future, it has a nice little place in my memory, and it has our damn digital camera battery and charger. We forgot it in the hotel, and now we're looking for a new charger.

"I would take Thai Airways pretty much anywhere."

Here I am in coach from Tokyo to Thailand, and I can pick my own movie and/or tv show and/or interactive game. Over the course of the 6 hour flight, Lucy and I watched episodes of Arrested Development, Pushing Daisies, and the majority of "The Savages" (which is fantasic). They even had an episode of Dexter available! OH: and the tv control turns into a videogame controller, and we played blackjack and poker, and old school super mario bros. If I wanted, I could challenge Lucy, or any other interested member of the main cabin to trivia or pong or centipede or anything. And their meals were great. Just to let you know - I would probably take a Thai Airways flight to the supermarket, if I could.

"But where do we play Chess?"

Despite being very eager to move on to the Philippines, 1/1.5 days in Bangkok aren't really what I'd call "enough." It's a very vibrant city, punctuated by gorgeously intricate hallmarks of Buddhist history, and occasional centers of upscale commerce, and swathed in very real, very present poverty. And in this way, it was unlike any place I had previously been. With every corner you turn, every boat pier from which you disembark, there are motorcab drivers who will ask you where you are going, and when you tell them, will in turn say "It's closed today," or "It doesn't open until later," in order to offer you a ride "around the city," which very likely leads to some sort of scam. Being aware of this is very important in the city, and usually they'll give excuses like this, even where, upon looking up at your destination, you can see tourists filing in and out. It's not even really what I would call a problem, just because it was very obvious, and actually entertaining, in a way, to see what people would come up with.

SO, basically, after landing at Suvarnabhumi Airport (pronounced sa-wa-na-poom, for some reason), we took a cab to our fabulous, although difficult to find, hotel (I have strong suspicions that the street naming process in Bangkok was created by someone who either is or has the city planning savvy of a lobotomized goat. Our address essentially meant "the 46th building on the 1st alley off of Thewet, which is not actually a labelled street, but is instead an area of a different street, which has two different names, neither of which are Thewet, and which are also not labelled). Hotel Phranakorn Nornlen is owned by a former Miss Thailand, and she's done a superb job - accommodations come with a fabulous vegetarian breakfast each morning (might as well start your day off with a dose of good karma, right?), there is an attentive and endlessly helpful staff, and they are currently working on cultivating an organic garden on the rooftop, so they can provide their own food to the people who stay there. Oh! And it had free internet and computers! Which is spectacular, considering the fact that our computer is beyond repair... It was essentially a backpackers' dream place - reflected in the price, which while relatively expensive by backpackers standards, was less than a third of what we paid per night in Tokyo. I'd say one of the few things I had to get used to was the fact that there was no distinction between the shower and the rest of the bathroom. Meaning, that a medium-length shower would leave you standing in a bathroom with about a quarter-inch-deep pool of water covering the floor, which would eventually dissipate slowly down the drain over the next ten minutes or so. Still, gorgeous accommodations, and a very nice, large, clean bathroom, all things considered.
"Muay Thai Relaxation"

It was at this hotel where I had my first Thai massage. Now, up until this point, I was under the impression that a Thai massage was just someone beating the crap out of you. I wasn't completely off base. Indeed, up until this point, I had only had massages which were in various states of undress, and during which my limbs were not manipulated into a series of yogic stretches, while a masseuse pummeled the muscles. Suffice it to say, it was a new experience. And not at all a bad one. Sitting up Indian style (note to self: is that PC?) both hands behind my head, fingers interlocked, not unlike as if I were held up mid-elementary school assembly, the masseuse swung my torso to the side, cracking my back, and proceeded to smack the underside of my arms. Audibly. And for some reason, it all worked quite well. Indeed, the fact that you are fully clothed during a Thai massage really works in the interests of practicality. One would think it rather uncomfortable for both the client and the masseuse, for the client to be anything approximating nude while on his or her back, as his or her leg is bent at the knee, turned to the side, and pushed back over the head.

"No One Here Knows Who Murray Head Is"

The massages, oddly enough, were the last thing we did at the hotel, before we checked out. The previous day was really where we explored the city. We basically went from Buddhist Temple to Buddhist Temple, braving crowds, heights, and heatstroke. The Grand Palace was impressive. The temple there, amazing. It's really difficult to sum up - the intricacy of the sparkling mosaic exteriors was simply breathtaking. The interior paintings, and the 9 meter high, golden statue-bedecked platform, on which the jade "Emerald Buddha" is enshrined is a sight to behold, and which pictures could not do justice, even if they were allowed inside this holy site. It's massive and gorgeous, focusing on a revered and beautiful image of the Buddha which you are not to point your feet at, out of respect. We sat in the temple for a while, taking in the amazing surroundings. Just a wonderful experience, to have the opportunity to explore, and appreciate another culture and another faith. From there we went to Wat Po, which houses a massive "reclining Buddha." This statue is housed in a building which basically just fits it - it's just gigantic and pretty darn awesome - with a row of 109 pots for donations which don't even run 3/4 the length of the corridor. We then went to the "Temple of The Dawn" Wat Arun, which was across the river. This temple features a series of increasingly-narrow-stepped staircases, which you have to weather in order to see the beautiful view of Bangkok and the Chao Phraya river. It's very much worth the climb. Thank goodness for handrails!

"And Then..."

Okay, so then we walked through Chinatown, got some gifts, and went to the mall. I know. But it was a pretty great mall, and we had dinner and whatnot, and then went to the VIP movie theatre. So, there were some travellers at the hotel who had told us about it - and really, it was a great flippin experience. The refreshments at the Bangkok movie theatre were relatively inexpensive - certainly far cheaper than in the states, but the VIP theatre is special, in that you are seated in small alcoves of two huge comfy reclining electric leather chairs - and thus, the VIP theatre tickets are among the most expensive I've ever bought. But you are given a blanket and a pillow, and served drinks and popcorn, both of which come in one size: big ass size. So, we sat and watched "Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull." Which, brings us to this:

I hate George Lucas.

That is pretty much my review of the movie. The guy wrote the lame story, and it's an outlandish, albeit sometimes fun, movie that jumps the shark at one very specific point. You may or may not agree. Is it better than no Indiana Jones movie? Sure! Of course it is! A lot of things are. And it's still entertaining. And Shia La Boeuuoeuuf actually does some of the very best acting in this movie - he's quite good.

But why is there so much expository dialogue? Why does the end suck? Why is the first half so much better than the second? Why is the life sapped out of every interesting character (Karen Allen, Cate Blanchett, and yes, Harrison Ford have a whole lot of mediocre script to make up for) who I have such an interest in? And, honestly: Monkeys??? Might as well have thrown in some flippin ewoks, while you're at it. What the heck, make the big secret be that Cate Blanchett's character is actually Jar Jar Binks. Which shows you what a memorable character it was - I don't even remember the name.

Anyway, the answer to all of those questions:

Stay tuned in 2009 for American Graffiti: Old People With Cars, and what the heck, a crapload of cgi just because they can.

Sorry for the rant - it's hard to keep stuff like that really contained. As a side note, Rasheed mentioned the possibility of me playing "Son of Short Round" in a sequel. And, quite frankly, I am more than happy to take this on. I think I could really provide a nice tan counterpart to Shia LaBeuoueueuouf's character. Maybe Short Round's son turned out to be an accountant. That might suit me. Anyway, perhaps while he's rummaging through his repertoire for things to bring back, Lucas will stumble upon his original sense of creativity. It'd be nice if he could dust that off for us.

Hmm. This post was supposed to be about Bangkok, wasn't it? Yikes. Sorry. I love Bangkok. And if you get the chance to go, try to take it from someone who knows: spend more than a day and a half there.

On the plus side, we are in the Philippines, planning on heading up north on the overnight bus to see the rice terraces in Banaue tomorrow night. I'll catch y'all up on this leg of the trip in a few. Thanks for reading, and have a great night! See y'all in July!

~phil~

P.S. We saw Iron Man the night we got into Manila. Who woulda thunk that the whiny romantic guy from Swingers would direct a better action movie than Steven Spielberg. Okay, I'm done now, I promise.